


je t'aime

by honeyjyra



Category: 15& (Band), GOT7
Genre: F/M, Gift Fic, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:41:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29703495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyjyra/pseuds/honeyjyra
Summary: The first time he thinks it, he was drunk.The second time, he thinks a little louder.The third time, he thinks he should stop.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jimin | Jamie (15&)
Kudos: 3





	je t'aime

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, D.  
> I do plan on finishing this but I thought I'd give you the first chapter hehe  
> Hope you like it <3

The first time he thinks it, he was drunk. Wasted. Blitzed. 

The kind of intoxication that made the room a carnival ride, made his ears ring and his cheeks numb. Six hours before that moment, Jackson had proclaimed it was exactly what he needed.

So, there they were, scattered across Bambam and Yugyeom’s floor, playing every drinking game they could think of. By fraud or default, he always ended up losing. Because this is what you’re supposed to do when you have your heart broken, they say. You drink, you forget and you have fun with the boys.

Except it wasn’t just a few drinks and it wasn’t just the boys. 

While buying the second rounds at the convenience store, they bump into Jihyo and her friends and the more the merrier, right? They ordered pizza and comically, Yugyeom’s good friend Jungkook delivered to their door. He’s a shy one, meek and timid so would it be okay if he brought his friends after his shift? Hearing all this commotion, the neighbours upstairs pays a visit and wouldn’t it be rude not to invite them in?

By the end of the night, they had crammed thirty odd people in the tiniest apartment known to man. It’s crowded, it’s loud and at first, that was okay. He could lose himself in the corner, let Youngjae talk for him in a circle of people he barely recognised. He doesn’t need to think then, he laughed when they laughed, drink when they drank, screamed when they did. He almost forgets.

Almost.

It’s when he took heavy steps to the toilet, narrowly avoiding bodies or furniture in his way. It’s the first deep breath after locking the door, the bite of cold, cold water hitting his face. 

It’s too loud and too stuffy all at once. His mouth feels like cotton and the room is still spinning and and and... 

After tonight, after this was all done, he knows he’s going home to an empty bed.

She already had a box of her stuff when she told him. Not all of it, just the most important ones, just her clothes and her books and his heart. All stacked neatly, piled on top of reasons why this was for the best and it hurts me more than it hurts you.

It played on a loop in his head, scorched into the back of his eyes so that even when he closed them, he could see it.

God, he needed more alcohol. 

He staggered back on uneven footing, turning slow to face the door. But, it seemed so far away now. The noise behind it thumps on the door like it wants to eat him and sweat pricked at his back, pleading him to stay here where it’s cooler.

“Dude,” a disembodied voice accused him. “Are you gonna go, or what?”

His brain caught up enough to realise the voice did not come from outside. Nor was it in his head, echoing in the tiled walls of the bathroom. “God?”

The shower curtains - which he’d only just noticed were closed - drew open.

“I wish,” she sat at the edge of the tub, hugging one knee close to her, leaning against the wall. Her eyes judged as if he’s the one in a questionable spot.

She looked familiar. A passing face at Jinyoung’s parties. One of Bambam’s post on Instagram - ‘chillin’ with his homies’. He was sure he’d sat behind her at a composition lecture, once. He vaguely remembered Mark introducing her. Slowly - probably a beat too slow, by the way she tuts at his composure from head to toe - he comes up with a name.

“Jamie?” 

“Jaebum,” she repeated back at him. “Just pee and go, what are you waiting for?”

“What?” Jaebum finally admits to himself that he was a tad too drunk for this. “What are you-?”

“Relax, I’ve got headphones on. I’ll close the curtains again. Just pretend you didn’t see me,” Jamie, for her part, tucked her hair back and yeah, she really did have headphones in her ears. But, it failed to clear up any confusion he had.

“I don’t- I don’t need to pee.” 

“You sure?”

“I’m sure,” he said resolutely but he’s been standing on his own for too long now and he should really sit down. The floor is an option but it’s not a sanitary one; he knew Bambam and Yugyeom too well.

She looked bored, just about rolled her eyes as he swayed from side to side, “Then, why are you still here?” 

“Why are you?”

Jamie watched him carefully for what seemed like hours that he almost toppled over, “Touché. Come sit down before you fall to the floor. I doubt Bambam cleans it, so it’d be a pretty gross way to go.”

He can’t argue with that logic. He stepped in and slid down one end of the tub, feeling the cool porcelain on his back and stretching his feet until it reached the other side. Jamie squeezed herself into the corner to give him space, letting the curtains drape close and huh. He’s alone in a bathtub with a stranger.

“We’re not strangers,” Jamie looked offended. Supposedly, he said that thought aloud and not to himself. “We’ve met twice before. But, I guess you’re not in the right state to remember.”

Jaebum agreed with that, too. “Okay, acquaintance. What are we doing alone in a bathtub?”

Jamie still looked offended but she can’t look any more hostile after inviting him in. Instead of answering him though, she hands him one half of her headphones. He hears a quiet tune, the noise of the party completely forgotten. He takes it and puts it to his ears.

It’s a soft melody. Piano keys and mostly humming. Jamie nods along, singing some words under her breath that he can’t quite make out. Whatever it was it echoed across the small room, a delicate ringing in the air. 

Her voice is pretty.

“That’s good,” Jaebum feels light, resting his head back on the wall. “Really good. Did you make this?”

Jamie tried to nod nonchalantly but Jaebum could tell she felt small; timid. He knows that feeling well, wanting critique but hoping your work isn’t complete, utter garbage.

But it’s not. It’s a really good song. Unfinished and unpolished but it’s sweet. Harmonic. Sad. 

“I just don’t know what the lyrics should be about,” Jamie whispered, replaying the song again. “Sometimes, the words come first and I can’t find the right tune, you know? But, sometimes, I get the melody and it’s perfect but no words fit where I want it to fit.”

Jaebum hummed, closed his eyes and listened again.

“And sometimes, inspiration strikes and it all clicks together perfectly,” he drummed his fingers on his lap, lost in the song. “You just have to find your muse.”

“My muse.” Jamie paused - just for a second, perhaps, in thought. “Right.”

He doesn’t remember how long they sat there, quietly listening to the unfinished song in a loop. Jamie sang some lines to him, he gave praise, or, maybe found her some words that fit better. She would type it out, go quiet again and repeat. 

It’s nice. A huge contrast to the last five hours of non-stop drinking and forced laughter. Sitting hunched over in a bathtub would bite him back the morning after and the hangover, definitely did. But, there, he just needed to sit and breathe and listen.

It’s the fifth loop - or maybe the sixth? - when she said, “Earlier, I saw a boy I used to like.”

“Ahh, who's the loverboy?” he teased, opening his eyes to see a finger poking accusingly at his forehead.

“Like I’d tell a stranger,” Jamie narrowed her eyes at him but a smile pulled at her lips. “The key word is: ‘used to’. It was a teeny, tiny, tiny crush. But, I don’t know, I saw him and I panicked and-”

“And you hid in the bathroom?”

Jamie put a hand on his mouth and looked away, speaking to no one in particular, “Yeah, okay. When you say it out loud it sounds stupid!”

“Okay, okay,” Jaebum pried her hands away, schooling his face to look calm. She was flustered. It’s cute. “What’s so bad about a crush?”

There were some cheers from outside, a sudden reminder that the rest of the party is carrying on. Jaebum is a little surprised none of them had come barging in, needing the toilet. But, whatever drinking game they had was clearly more important than peeing. He’s glad he had the chance to escape, for now.

“I don’t like how it makes me feel,” Jamie frowned, eyes still turned to the front like she’s talking to the wall. Like saying it to inanimate objects would make it less real. “I lose focus and I get tongue-tied, and the sweating, oh god, the sweating. It’s not cute.”

“That’s impossible,” he shook his head, “if he likes you back, I’m sure he’ll find you cute no matter how sweaty you are!”

She aimed another pointy finger at his forehead but he intercepted it. He wasn’t quite done.

“Besides, that feeling. There’s your inspiration,” Jaebum let a sigh escape his lips, felt the weight of today finally catching up to him. No amount of drinking could hide that fact. “That’s your muse. Use it while you have it.”

Jamie retracted her hand away from his; she must have sensed the change in his tone. She nodded slowly but didn't say anything else. They let the song play a few more times.

“My girlfriend left me today.”

When the room stopped spinning, Jaebum looked at her then. Up close, her eyes weren’t judging or critical at all; they looked over him, soft with concern. Her cheeks were dusted pink as the heat of two bodies cramped in the tub. But it wasn’t hot and loud and stuffy like it must be back out there. The music played softly between them. It’s warm where her legs touched his side. His head rested comfortably on her knee. Has it always been there?

“I guess, I should call her my ex-girlfriend now,” he doesn’t stop looking and she doesn’t stop him from talking. “I kind of saw it coming. We talked less, busy with work and classes and work, barely had time for dates. In fact, I cannot remember the last time we went out for dinner. Anniversary, maybe?”

The song played quieter, the melodic keys barely audible. Jamie must have lowered the volume because his voice was becoming hushed, words slow and directionless. Jaebum can feel himself drifting.

“Wow, you suck.”

That made him laugh. Breathless and quiet, but, a real laugh of his own volition, not a mimic of the crowd. Jamie looked sorry to say it but that only made him smile wider, “Yeah. I really do. I thought we were just hitting a rough patch. Thought we could just fix it back up, like we always do.”

There was a hand on his head; hovering, asking for permission. Jamie didn't speak until he relaxed into it, “Lost your muse?”

He pondered on that question, let it hang in the air. A year ago, there were arguments - the most trivial of things he barely remembered. Arguments turned into fights. Night-long-fights, sleeping-on-the-couch fights, not-talking fights.

“You know, I think it was lost a few months ago. I was just too scared to admit it. Four years is a long time to let go of,” Jaebum found his voice again, heavy and dripped with drowsiness. “I’m still scared, but, I’ll find...”

Her hand was combing through his hair, unsure but wanting to comfort, “You’ll find it again?”

The first time he thinks it, he was drunk. Inebriated. Out of his mind. So, he's not really sure if he meant to think it. 

“Sure, why not?” 

The kind of intoxication that had sleep tugging at his eyes, slowing his breathing, taking words from his memory and letting it slip past his mouth but never remembering what it was. Six hours before that moment, it was what he wanted.

Because, the first time he thinks it, he might have said it aloud, too.

Can I like you, Jamie?


End file.
